Despite having drawing concepts swirling in my head at all times, I still hesitate on the blank page. I realized also that I need to be setting goals. Ordinarily, these would be technique specific, but right now it's just "start putting pencil to paper" so days 1 through 7 will be basic concepts for giant kaiju.
A while back, I read a fantastic article from Mike Jungbluth, and it made me reflect on why precisely it is that I no longer draw. I knew that I was mortified of the blank page, fearful that I had forgotten how to draw, and simply unable or unwilling to start again even if just to judge my capability.
Long story short, I have resolved myself to draw something every day. I'm not going to agonize over the quality, I'm not going to apologize for my self-diagnosed lack of skill, I'm not going to critique my own work (although others are welcome to do so). I have put something on a page and put it on display.
I participate in a semi-bi-weekly D&D4E campaign, run by a friend of mine. In it, I play a centuries-old arcane golem (Warforged Knight), built as a war machine in the blasphemous likeness of the divine golems that serve the setting's deific and unknowable Titans. I felt like it would be neat to write up game events in-character, but it is (self-identified as a 'he' under duress) not exactly the type to keep a diary. As a result, you get this instead:
Extraction Process, Subject Zulu 3 Delta, Day 342
Neophyte Transmutationist Tarantos
At long last, we have successfully decoded the archival matrix! This is the very Key that Master Geberos has sought all this time -- and with it, he was finally able to garner a brief glimpse into the Subject's memory constructs. The encryption is complex and adaptive, even in this dormant state -- even as we replay select experiences of this machine, we are further locked out of others. Nonetheless, this accomplishment is unprecedented! With both Key and Lens firmly in our grasp, it is only a matter of time until the whole of the Subject's time on Suuna is laid bare! I only hope that we can unlock the Secret before They come for us...
At this time, only one Transmutationist can access the memory constructs concurrently, and I do not yet have the training and experience to draw them out correctly, even with knowledge of the Key. What follows is my transcription of the archival memory construct accessed by Master Geberos:
"Memory contructs are inherently self-referential, but without unfettered access to the entirety of the archive, we can only estimate the contents of experiences we have not yet unlocked. The golem remembers the complete duration of it's current activation, perhaps no more than a dozen cycles - I cannot see the sky clearly enough to estimate a date or location - the golem's focus is elsewhere. The coniferous forest suggests perhaps northern Tir?
"Hmm. This is odd... I sense no compulsion in the golem's stream of consciousness. Highly unusual. It has a companion: a young girl... elven, perhaps? Ah! I get the briefest access to the knowledge banks: she is called Thertrea and she calls the Subject Lithoklast, a name which it knows but does not claim as its own.
"NO! The construct is re-encrypting -- Neophyte, reconfigure the matrix! Redirect more energy to the Key! ... There! The memory has stabilized, but I cannot be sure of how much was lost. The Warforged stands before an ivory fountain... Nibenturn, of course! The ground is trembling! An explosion! The golem has activated its defense protocols and is moving to assess the threat! The townsfolk flee, but there are a handful moving in the opposite direction...
"BY THE STARS. Fleshclaimers! Servants of Eraebus, acting directly in this Plane! And... what is this?! A Dominus Lens, of course! The Warforged has assumed its agile stance -- it's trying to attack the Lens directly! There's another moving amidst the Fleshclaimers: a human, wielding arcane power, cutting them down one after another -- he is never in the same location for more than a handful of seconds! The elven girl's hail of arrows is ending just as many, opening the way for the golem. Behind them, a warpriest summoning storms with his holy staff: surely he serves the Titans? The golem does not dwell on them for long, it is convinced that the Lens will end this threat. He is joined by a heavily-armored human with dark divine magic and the arcane swordsman, assaulting the Lens directly!
"NOT AGAIN... Asmodeus damn thee, Tarantos, transfer more energy to the Key immediately! Drain the reservoir! The resolution is imminent! The Lens cracks under the pressure, unleashing arcs of black energy between it and golem -- it shatters! The occupant did not fare well from the combined assault -- they are sifting through his pieces.
"Yet another explosion! The golem and several of the combatants are pursuing the sound -- another attack! It appears the first was a diversion, as the Fleshclaimers have stolen away the able-bodied defenders of Nibenturn while the golem and its temporary allies were occupied and disappeared into the night.
"I... am losing the memory contruct... How can we have consumed all the mana? Reconfigure the Key, draw from another source! Damn you, Neophyte, render your essence to keep the link maintained! No! It is too late."
Master Geberos lost access to the memory construct as it was locked away. None had thought to monitor his condition during the process and he lost of a good deal of blood before the Apothecarii were called to attend to him. He believes we have witnessed the first transgression of the Titans against the inhabitants of Suuna, but needs more evidence. We will attempt again tomorrow, assuming he has sufficiently recovered.
We have uncovered something amazing here. None before us have ever come this far. Let us hope that we are not destroyed in the process.
I've attempted this before, now we're trying again. There is no specific purpose for this blog. Just a place to keep and share ideas. Fun times!